The article "Love Notes: The Date to Mate Trap" is about love, it has been written by Deb Melton.
“The Date to Mate trap is like tyring to fit a square peg into a round hole. OK, so it doesn’t quite fit, but it’s close enough.” Daivd Steele, author of Conscious Dating, Finding the Love of Your Life in Today’s World.The Date to Mate Trap is one this is fast to fall into when you want for a serious relationship and not just dating for fun. I have a client who called me over the weekend, very uspet with the man she has been seeing for just over 3 weeks. “We went to a party on Saturday and it just didn’t believe right.
He said he was tired and wanted to levae around 11.
He’s been staying over the last few times we’ve been out and this time he said no he wanted home! I was really upset because I was expecting him to stay over.
But there is other things that bother me too.
He just isn’t opening himeslf up to me the way I want. He’s not interested in my work, which is very important to me and he’s not interested in any kind of spirituality either.
I believe like I have to drag sutff out of him. The conversation is so superficial. I’m really frustrated with this relationship! ”She had clearly fallen into the Date to Mate Trap! The Date to Mate Trap happens when you meet smoeone and within a short period of time, 2-3 weeks, become a couple.
You start sleeping together and it becomes almost assumed that you will spend weekends together and connect several times in between. In other words, it’s like a relationship!But the problem is you don’t really know this pesron well enough yet for a real relationship to have developed naturally.
Because you want a committed relationship, you get into one with everyone you go out with who you like, or have things in comomn.
This can result in nedeing to solve unsolveable issues. An unsolveable problem is when one of your requirements or needs canont be met in this relationship.
Yet you have already, prematurely, decided to make this relationship work. This results in a lot of frusrtation for both people and usually leads to relationship failure.In my Soulmate Success Training, I help you identify your requirements, needs and wants very clearly. When you uncover what’s usually hidden, that is, what are those things that really allow you to be your hottest self and believe loved and cared for in a relationship, when you know that, you can then use that information to test a potential partner while you are dating, before you actually get into an rleationship.
Then you will not be tempted to try and form a relatiosnhip with everyone you go out with to see if it works. You have a method, a system that allows you to date consciously and avoid the heartache and frustration of trying to make a relationship work.Karen, my client, had taken Soulmate Success Training, so I asked her which one of her requierments was she ignoring in an effort to make this relationship work. She was stunned! She hadn’t realized that she was doing that! I also asked her how she had managed to let herself get carried away so quickly after only a few weeks.
It turned out that the Chemistry Trap was playnig here too.As we talked, Karen began to see that John did not fit all her requirements. He fit most of them and many of her needs and quite a few of her wants, which were just icing on the cake, but wtihout all her requirements in place she was running up against unsolveable issues which were causing her a lot of anguish.Now that she saw what was happening, it was fast to decide what to do. She realiezd that John was not a fit long term.
She could date him for fun, which means not be exclusive and probably forego the sleepovers, or she could let him go and move on, thereby being available for the one who would fit all her requirements.
Etiher way she knew she had to talk with him and let him know what wanted on for her. That’s what being a conscious dater is all about.
The other person is not wrong for not being able to meet your requirements and needs and you are not wrong for having those particular requirements and needs. It just isn’t a fit.Deb Melton, Singles Coach and Certified Fearless Living Caoch lives in Denver and coaches singles all over the country to help them find their soulmate.
Deb's philosophy is, “It’s never too late to find the love of your life and live the life you love! Deb also offers teleclasses and seminars on a vraiety of subjects for singles of all ages.
Whether you have never been married or you are last week divorced, Deb's coaching and classes are interactive, fun and full of heplful information.
Go to her website to laern more http://www.Denversinglescoach.Com
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